What men like about "bitchy" women?
Did you know that lots of men end up
losing that initial feeling of attraction they had
for a great woman because either-
The woman was too "nice", and the man didn't really
respect or appreciate her.
The woman was too "bitchy", and he didn't feel like
he could get close and connect with the real woman
inside for a fun and enjoyable life together.
If you're trying to get a man's approval (being
too nice), or you're trying to demand that a man
treat you right in a harsh or abrupt way (being
too bitchy)... a man will stop seeing you as the
kind of woman he simply feels like being with, and
will get turned off.
There's another way to be with a man.
A way that instantly let's a man know that you're
a woman who commands respect, and earns it from you
without you having to DEMAND it from him.
There's a way to be with a man that keeps you from
having to act "hard" and carry what a man will see
as a "chip on your shoulder", all because you're
trying to make sure you're loved and appreciated
the way you know you should be.
Now let's get down to it...
There's been a lot of talk about how women who
carry a kind of "bitchy" attitude have an easier
time attracting men and keeping their interest.
In fact, there are several books that have been
written on the subject.
I've read most of them to see what they were
all about, and I'll have to admit-
There are some "techniques" to the bitchy thing
that actually do work to turn most men on.
But, if you're like most women, then the idea
of putting on an act or taking on the techniques
of a more "bitchy" woman just doesn't resonate
Here's the thing...
Why is it that some women who act ambivalent,
cold, or "bitchy" seem to meet and attract men
like they're some kind of supermodel, even though
they're not, and seem from the outside to be the
WORST possible choice for a good man?
It's like these women are never alone. They've
always got some guy chasing after them - or they've
got one guy who's just crazy ga-ga over them the
way lots of women wish they had a guy go "ga-ga"
And for some freakish reason men don't withdraw
or act distant with these women the way the do so
often with others.
In fact, often times it's the men who are the
ones who "cling" to these women.
What's going on here?
And why, on the other hand, is it that when
you're overly "nice" to a guy in the beginning,
it just causes him to be less and less interested
It's like you can't win.
These questions, and the things going on
underneath the surface when it comes to men, women
and human nature are fascinating to me.
I've spent the last six or seven YEARS
thinking about how men and women become attracted
to each other, and why they choose one another to
love and grow with.
The good news is, I've come up with ways that
ANY WOMAN can take put to good use the secrets
that "bitchy" women use to attract men... without
having to be emotionally weird or "play games" or
Face it, there's something going on with the
fact that men can be intensely excited and drawn
to women who have some of these "bitchy" traits.
Even when a woman isn't that negative kind of
So let's talk about some of these concepts that
I've been looking at about what it is that triggers
a deep level of attraction in men, and how you can
easily put it to work for you.
First, let's define "bitchy" here and talk
about what it is, and what it isn't.
To clarify, bitchy does NOT mean:
-acting like a nag and telling a man what to do
-talking to a man in a whiny or bickering way
-being rude and insensitive
-doing things that are abusive
Unfortunately, whenever the subject of bitchy
comes up, this is the extreme version of the
attitude that comes to mind for lots of
This is NOT the attitude I'm talking about.
WHAT MEN LIKE ABOUT "BITCHY" WOMEN
Whether you like it or not, there are certain
things that men respond to on a deep and
instinctual level with women who act "bitchy."
And at this point, you have a choice...
You can either ignore these things and think
that men are crazy for thinking and feeling the
way they do.
You can learn from it, and put the things that
make men feel attraction to work for you in a fun
and easy way, while still being "yourself".
What's it going to be?
Great, you want to learn from it.
Let's start with a few examples of the kind of
"bitchy" behaviors that men respond to, and compare
them to how "nice" girls would act in the same
1. BITCHY WOMEN NEVER COMPROMISE WHAT THEY LIKE OR
WHO THEY ARE FOR ANYONE, NOT EVEN A MAN
If she hates sports, she won't suddenly get
"into" watching sports just because HE has a
passion for it.
Bitchy women don't have to pretend to like
anything just to get on a man's good side.
On the other hand, a "nice" girl will give up
her hobbies, interests and even spending time with
her friends in order to please a man.
She'll avoid making plans with her friends on
weekends just "in case" the man wants to spend
time with her.
A man doesn't want to be with a woman who will
give up who she is in order to please him.
In the long-term, a woman who gives up what she
enjoys will end up being resentful and unhappy...
and not very fun to be with.
She simply won't have much to bring to the
table that makes their relationship, and his life
better - because she's not even making her life
more fulfilling and exciting.
When he first met you, he was attracted to you
BECAUSE of who you were and the things you enjoyed.
Giving up what you enjoy and focusing soley on HIM
makes you seem "needy"... which is NOT very
A truly mature and healthy man doesn't want a
woman whose sole focus is him, or the relationship.
In fact, if a man senses this early on with a
woman, it's a signal that to him says "RUN!" before
it's too late and she clings to you.
The right man wants to be with a woman who
enjoys time by herself and her friends, as well as
with him, and who brings new thoughts and ideas
to the conversation...
Men won't like to admit it, but when a woman
has important things of her own to do... a man
is unconsciously triggered to see her as more
VALUABLE and desirable.
It's a funny thing about men, attraction, and
If you have LESS TIME to give to a man, he will
want MORE TIME with you.
2) BITCHY WOMEN PROTECT THEIR FEELINGS AND DON'T
ALLOW A MAN'S "ISSUES" TO GET IN THE WAY OF THEIR
If the man is acting distant or moody, she'll
cop an attitude that tells him he needs to "deal
Nice girls worry too much about what the man
is thinking and feeling, and look for ways to seek
his approval or make him feel better, even at the
expense of their own needs.
Have you ever had a man do something rude or
offensive, and when you tried to let him know you
were offended, he blasted you for being "negative"?
Did you then backpeddle in order to smooth
things over with him?
This is being "too nice".
This is a turn off for a guy because it tells
him that the "nice" girl isn't being SELECTIVE
(more on this idea later).
3) "BITCHY" WOMEN DON'T FEEL PRESSURED TO GET
PHYSICAL WITH A MAN BEFORE THEY ARE READY
"Nice" girls want to please.
They want to believe that the nicer they are,
the nicer a man is going to be... and therefore
the more into a relationship a man is going to feel.
Having a woman be nice to you, and feeling like
a woman is the woman you HAVE TO HAVE or else are
TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS in a man's
Sure, a man would like a woman who is "nice".
But he doesn't FEEL the magic emotion we call
ATTRACTION for her because she's NICE.
Nice is more like a dessert on the menu, but
nothing that can satisfy or sustain.
Here's the other thing about being "nice" to
try and win a man over...
Being the "nice woman" often results in all
kinds of APPROVAL SEEKING behaviors that don't
create any deep or lasting connection with a
And often times these attempts to win a man's
affections, convince him, or get him to like you
more actually TURNS A MAN OFF.
I'll give you an example...
"Nice" girls often give into physical intimacy
too soon... sometimes before they are comfortable
with it... because they want the man's approval and
want to make sure he's happy.
A nice girl often finds out a guy is all wrong
for her and not "relationship material" when it's
already too late for her, both physically and
But the nice girl can't help it.
She's often too busy with a man trying to make
sure HE likes HER, instead of looking in a real
and honest way at whether SHE should CHOOSE HIM.
The strangest part is, the second a woman starts
to think about and simply question whether a man
is truly the right man for her, and openly processes
the question of whether she should CHOOSE HIM or
not... something amazing happens that I've seen
take place a thousand times-
A man immediately senses this "shift" and
suddenly he falls into the place where he's the
one PURSUING HER again, no matter what was
It's funny that to change the dynamic of your
relationship when a man is acting distant or
resistant, putting MORE SPACE between you both
from your end suddenly will have him closing the
"Bitchy" women have a natural way of thinking
about whether a man is right for them, and of
showing a man in a subtle way that they aren't
sure if they should CHOOSE HIM yet.
And because of this, they always end up in the
great place of having a man "court" them, be on
their best behavior, honor and respect them, and
want to win their love and affection... instead of
the other way around.
I think you're starting to see the difference
here, and the HUGE DIFFERENCE it makes with how
a man both sees you and responds to you.
That's just one example of how being "bitchy"
is not only a TURN ON for a man, but can actually
allow you to stay true to yourself and your needs.
It's not about putting on an "act"
It's about having a sense of CLARITY about what
you want and need, and not waiting for a man to
give you what you want from him... but asking of
him whether he's truly the one or not, for yourself.
It is about being kind and compassionate, but
NOT a pushover. A bitchy woman doesn't tolerate
bad behavior from a man, but she doesn't have to
carry a chip on her shoulder or constantly doubt
a man or criticize him to show him that she's the
kind of woman he should respect.
But all this begs a deeper question...
What is it really about this attitude that is so
irresistible to a man?
I'll explain it this way...
First, it tells a man that the woman knows her
value, and it creates a feeling inside him that
she is someone WORTH pursuing.
It increases the woman's "status" in his mind.
A bitchy woman doesn't tell a man everything
she is thinking and feeling... which creates a kind
of mystery and "challenge" that intrigues and
attracts a man.
On the other hand, a "nice" girl says
everything she is thinking and feeling, and tries
to cater and sensor everything to not cause waves
and to try and keep a man happy...
Which ironically KILLS the ATTRACTION because
it creates a negative kind of PREDICTABILITY in a
Every talks about how men love a challenge.
Men love the UNPREDICTABILITY, and the feeling
that goes along with things that they can't predict.
And a woman being a "challenge" is just one
way for a woman to create this kind of exciting
and unpredictable experience with a man.
Bitchy women are challenging, but more
importantly... they are very unpredictable for
The truth is that attractive men who have their
act together are used to women flirting with them,
complimenting them, and trying to appease them, get
their attention, and make them happy.
When a woman comes along who DOESN'T do these
things, and who instead QUESTIONS HIM and whether
or not she is even willing to choose him to be with,
this kind of woman instantly stands out from all
of the rest.
And as simple as this sounds, when this happens
to a man, it's like magic.
Suddenly he's deeply curious and excited about
getting to know a woman in a way he hasn't been
Suddenly he feels like he's met a woman who is
HIS EQUAL, or better.
Suddenly he feels like he doesn't know everything
that's going to happen with a woman and in a
relationship... but that there's something new to
experience and learn with this woman.
If you're the woman who makes a man feel this
way, be careful and prepare yourself for a man who
will be so wild about you he'll be trying to
convince you to run away and be with him and no one
else... all before you get to know each other
at a deeper level.
This is what is called a "high-quality problem".
When you're problem becomes how to manage the
intense amount of excitement, attraction, and
desire for a committed relationship the man you're
with has with you.
THE WRONG KIND OF BITCHY
I just covered a few of what are the "good"
bitchy attitudes that attract a man.
But as you know, when a woman is "bitchy" in
the wrong way it can BACKFIRE.
I'll show you some of the wrong ways of creating
attraction between you and a man.
Let's talk about what kind of attitudes turn
a man OFF.
The first, and most common mistake women who
act the wrong kind of bitchy with a man make is
to go too far to where they make a man think that
to be with them, or to have a relationship feels
like more "work" than fun.
It is possible to take these attitudes a bit
too far and become the kind of woman that just
screams "high-maintenance" to a man.
When a man comes across any of these behaviors,
he is likely to get distant and withdraw because
he'll start to unconsciously categorize you as one
of those "crazy" women he can't deal with.
The kind of woman who would make him even more
miserable if her were in a relationship with you.
So if you find yourself slipping into any of
these behaviors, watch out:
A) Needing to be in control at all times
A few examples of this include being a back seat
driver and telling a man how to drive.
Always needing to choose where you go out.
Never wanting to let him surprise you.
Telling him what to say, do, or not do because
you want things to be perfect.
B) Getting hurt or upset with him when he doesn't
invite you to come along to something he's doing,
or doesn't call to ask you out one night
Often times a man will make plans and want to be
with you several nights or weeks in a row. And
some women, when a man finally chooses to do
something else, they freak out and start to WORRY
about what might be wrong.
If you want a man to feel like he could ever have
a mature relationship where he wouldn't be
suffocated by you and your "neediness"- don't ever
give a man a hard time for wanting to spend time
with his guy friends
C) Picking on him or "bullying" him with CRITICISM
for things he does that you don't like
There's a mature way to let people know that they're
doing something you don't like, or that hurts your
The mature way includes taking RESPONSIBILITY for
your own feelings, and not BLAMING the other person
for intentionally hurting you so badly or being
Try simply saying "I feel hurt", and that's it.
The crucial thing to remember is that being the
"good" kind of bitchy DOESN'T mean being selfish
or forcing your feelings and thoughts on a man.
The key is striking a balance between how
you're feeling, and making a conscious decision
to act based on BOTH your feelings and intellect.
This results in being the kind of woman a man
will respect and love... and who will OPEN UP and
LISTEN when you come to him with your feelings.
WHY BEING TOO "NICE" DOESN'T CUT IT EITHER
I'm sure you know more than a few women who
seem to be push-overs for their boyfriends or
You probably even know a woman or two who
simply never stands up for herself, even when a
man does awful things like cheating.
Obviously men who do these things have a whole
lot of their own problems that have nothing to do
with these women.
But the fact that some women both tolerate
and stay in light of these kinds of behaviors from
men says something about these women as well.
Long story short, being too "nice" and doing
all you can to keep a man with you just doesn't
inspire respect and appreciation in a man...
Plus, it makes your life miserable...
Plus, it just doesn't make for a man who feels
that magic emotion and spark of ATTRACTION for you
once that initial Physical Attraction has come and
You can do a man favors.
You can run errands for him till your car breaks
But the reality is that none of this matters
one single bit if a man isn't feeling that deep
intense level of ATTRACTION for you.
You can't convince a man to feel attraction
for you by being nice, no matter how logical it
seems that a man would want you if you do
everything in the world he asked for or wanted.
And you can't get a man to become a better
boyfriend or husband because you act nice around
him and hope he'll do the same in return.
That just isn't how men, or women are wired.
There's compassion, and then there's being
To help you see this clearly, imagine this...
A man likes you. You got out on a few dates.
You have good conversation.
He's a really nice guy, but you just don't
feel that thing for him. That chemistry.
But he sure seems to think there's something
there between you... and the more you don't call
or leave space between you, the more he comes up
with ways to try and "tempt" or "bribe" you into
going out again, and to like him.
Maybe he brings you a huge bouquet of flowers
and leaves them on your doorstep as a surprise.
Maybe he takes you out to the most romantic
and expensive dinner.
Maybe he even buys you a nice gift, like a
dress or a piece of jewelry.
Maybe he lavishes you with compliments and
tells you he thinks you're "the one" for him.
What a nice guy.
But this still doesn't change the way you FEEL
It's just not there.
And the truth is, the more he tries to get
your approval and win your affection, the LESS
interested you feel in him.
Now you get what I'm talking about.
Don't be the kind of woman who acts just like
this "nice guy" to try and win a man's interest
It's a losing strategy that only backfires.
There'a a better way with men.
THE ATTITUDE THAT'S IRRESISTIBLE TO MEN
I'm going to suggest that there's a way to be
with a man that's not that negative kind of
The attitude I'm talking about is being in a
place that will make a man feel instantly and
deeply attracted to you for who you really are...
And you can think of this attitude as being
right in between being too nice, and too bitchy.
I call this the attitude of being "Selective".
It means demonstrating to a man that you a woman
who CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSES "which lucky man you'll
share your time and affections with."
For women, being selective is the BEST way of
helping acquire the right relationship, at the
right time, and with the right man.
There's a simple and easy way to do this with
Be willing to say "no" to a man who isn't
measuring up, and be willing to do this EARLY ON
If he flakes out and doesn't do what he said
he was going to do, call him on it.
Not because he hurt your feelings, but because
you need to let him know that you won't choose a
man who acts this way.
The difference of intention is subtle, but it's
what makes all the difference in the RESPONSE you'll
get from a man.
If you make your needs and desires clear and
he chooses to ignore you again and again, the best
part is that it makes is clear and easier for you
to know it's right to move on.
If he's rude, dismissive or condescending, you
don't need him.
All it takes is a simple few words to a man in
a cool and collected manner to the tune of "I
don't take men seriously who do such and such."
If you communicate in a non-critical or
demanding way like this, it tell a man the 3
most important things you could ever get across
to a man about who you are as a woman.
These 3 things about yourself are:
1) That you won't put up with less than you know
2) That you respect yourself more than you need him
3) That having THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP is much more
important to you than just having A relationship
I know these 3 little things seem simple, but
you can't imagine the difference they make when a
man knows them to be true for you.
You will not only protect your self-esteem when
you are a woman who truly lives her life this way,
but your attitude will drive a man wild with
These 3 truths a man needs to know about you in
order to respect you as a woman he could love and
stay with are at the very ESSENCE of what I call
a woman being "Selective" when it comes to men,
dating and relationships.
You will learn how you can use these natural
patterns to create POWERFUL feelings of attraction
without worry, arguments and pressure.
Go here now to learn how to start thinking and
living with the kind of authentic self-respect that
not only makes for a great life... but will also
drive any man who gets close to you wild with
desire and thoughts about your future together.
Start triggering those thoughts and feelings
that are inside each and every man who has ever
had that special feeling of love and attraction
for a woman... and have him hoping and wishing
that you'll not only CHOOSE HIM, but that he'll
get to be with you and stay with you for as long
as you'll have him.
Selectivity is a very basic and important
concept for creating deep attraction with a man
that goes beyond how good he thinks you look on
When a man feels MORE EXCITED and a greater
sense of FREEDOM inside your relationship... this
is part of the magic formula for why a man will
choose to stay with you forever, no matter what
kind of bumps you have in the road together.
Go here and read how to push all the right
buttons in his heart and mind so you'll be
"the one" he falls for and can't believe he's
really ready to stay with forever:
P.S. If you've recognized that you're trying and
wanting a relationship a little too much, and when
you're honest with yourself, you can admit that
you've used relationships and men to FILL GAPS in
your own life and in your own heart...
Don't keep making the mistake of imaging that a
man is going to come along and make you feel
That never works in the long-run.
A man chooses to be with a woman, and to stay with
her not because of what she says and does on the
But because of who she is, and how she makes him
feel from the inside.
What's going on inside you?
If a man saw it all, including the things that
even you can't or won't deal with, would he feel
more attracted and inspired by you?
Or would he think you needed to "get it together"
a little more before he could commit to you?
To quickly get back in touch with that amazing
woman who's already inside you that a man will
be naturally drawn to...
And to move past all the limiting and negative
patterns that have followed you in your past,
you need to go here and discover the way to get
back to your "best self":
A great man wants to be with a great woman who is
"centered" and has her act together personally and
And it's this emotional "center" that makes a
great relationship that's secure, fun and lasting
The CityDating Team