Why Men Lose Interest In Great Women

Dear Jolanta,

Does it seem like you can accomplish anything
you set your mind to in your life - career,
interests, hobbies, friends - except for meeting
the right guy and having a lasting, committed
relationship with him?

I can't tell you how many emails I receive
from intelligent, successful, attractive women
wondering why the right guy hasn't shown up and
recognized them for the great women they are.

If you did somehow meet a great guy, are you
confident that you'd know what this attractive,
successful, and together single man was really
looking for in a woman?

And more importantly - would you know how to
have him RECOGNIZE YOU as the right woman for him
and want to be with you and explore a real
relationship?

For a real understanding of what will make a
man see you as the right woman from the start and
feel more intensely ATTRACTED to you each time
you get together, you need to read this:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/MeetingTheOne

There's a common strategy lots of smart women
take on when they sense something has shifted or
is off in their relationship with a man.

But instead of this strategy helping the
relationship get back on track, it often
accidentally creates distance in the relationship
and pushes the man away.

I call this strategy the "Convincer."

I'll explain it like this...

Smart women often have high-standards and
expect the best for themselves - from their
relationship and from the man they're with - and
that's a great thing. So when they aren't getting
what they know is the best from the relationship,
they take action.

Now, it's a MUST to communicate and share your
feelings when you don't feel your partner is
giving to you and your relationship the way you
are, and it's a good thing to do this as soon as
you feel it.

However, many women take action by trying to
take the lead in the relationship in hopes that
this will "fill the gaps" in the relationship
and start to make things work better and get the
man re-engaged again.

But the reality is that making this shift into
trying to take charge and lead often ends up with
the woman feeling both unappreciated, and like
she's the one trying to "convince" the man that
the relationship should be different and better.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that this is
not a place where you want to be as a woman in a
relationship.

Plus... Convincing is a 100% sure way to turn
a man off and stop any attraction he might have
been feeling for you.

There's a much, much better way...

THE SMART WAY TO KEEP A MAN ENGAGED

There's a way to communicate with a man and
keep him invested in you and the relationship -
without any convincing at all. Doing this
involves three key elements.

Do you know what these 3 communication
elements are?

Give up? Below is a bit about each of these 3
key elements:

COMMUNICATION SECRET #1: Truly Listen

Men - just like women - need to feel like it's
okay to have their feelings, and that they will be
heard and respected. And when they realize their
partner isn't really listening or interested in
who they truly are or how they truly feel, they
will start to shut off bit by bit.

A man can sense how a woman is trying to talk
with him or ask him questions, and he can sense
if there are intense emotions behind what she's
saying.

That's why for a man, there are really two
main ways that he will sense a woman's
communication in these more intense times of
potential relationship conflict.

A man will either sense that:

A) You are asking him to talk and share in order
to truly try and UNDERSTAND both him and your
relationship better.

*Hint: I think of this as "listening to hear
the truth", not "listening to hear what YOU want
to hear", and there's a HUGE difference. It's
this kind of listening to genuinely hear the
truth that creates the critically important "safe
space" a man needs to sense for him to share HIS
true feelings with you.

Or, on the other hand, a man will sense that...

B) You are asking him to talk and share not to
truly talk and listen, but in order to play out
your own feelings that you are having a hard time
with, or to vent difficult feelings you don't
know how to communicate.

Guess which way of talking and listening makes
a man feel most comfortable to open up and respond
with a deeper level of thought, care and honesty?

And guess which way of asking a man a question
and listening makes him have a difficult time
opening up and being honest about his true
feelings?

Now... knowing this, the question is how do
you communicate in those important times where
you're feeling something and you need to talk
with your man? Which way do you approach the
conversation, and are you asking to hear his
truth and share yours?

Or are you asking because you need to first
find a way to uncork all the feelings you're
having a hard time understanding - and you hope
to hear what you want to hear from him?

Keep this in mind the next time you're
communicating with a man so that you listen
without judgement and preconceived ideas about
what he "should" say.

COMMUNICATION SECRET #2: Quiet the Criticism

There's something absolutely critical you need
to get about men if you want to enjoy a lasting
relationship that feels easy and like a "fit" for
YOU and for the man you're with.

It's this...

Men do not respond to CRITICISM in
relationships.

Now, this might sound obvious, but it's
incredible how many relationships have this
dynamic where men either accidentally perceive a
woman's communication as criticism... or where a
woman is accidentally criticizing in an effort to
make the relationship better.

You should know that most couples do not see
it when they're criticizing each other. That's why
it's the subtleties of how criticism starts to
undermine both partners in the relationship and
turn them against each other that makes criticism
so destructive.

In the end, criticism will motivate a man to
distance himself from you and see your
relationship as a negative place he needs to get
away from in order to feel better about himself.

When a man feels criticized, he'll do most or
all of the following:

-Stop communicating any appreciation for the woman

-Feel like a failure in his life and in your
relationship and stop trying or being passionate
in both

-Find ways to act out either directly or
indirectly to express his frustration

-Spend more time away from you and your
relationship

-Stop letting you in on his deeper thoughts and
feelings and shut you out

-No longer want to know about and understand your
feelings and be a source of support or comfort
for you

Looking at that list, you can see that
criticism shuts down some huge emotional areas
in a man.

When you think about it, criticism is just one
way to try and create change and to motivate
someone (a man) to do something differently.

Can you think of a more effective way of
communicating with a man that will get you the
response you REALLY WANT with him in your
relationship?

There's something that truly works MAGIC with
a man. Read the next section to find out what it
is...

COMMUNICATION SECRET #3: Show Appreciation

A man wants to be respected for his thoughts
and actions, and the way you communicate this to
him is by showing APPRECIATION.

Unfortunately, often times women - especially
smart, independent, and successful women -
unintentionally block opportunities for a man to
please them. In short, they make it difficult
for a man to do for them the very things they'd
like to receive!

If you're used to being a go-getter and taking
matters into your own hands at work and in your
daily life, you might accidentally be preventing
a man from stepping in and being THE MAN for you.

So, not only is he not able to please you and
DO for you, but there are fewer opportunities for
you to show APPRECIATION for him.

This is an easy fix, but it takes practice. It
means you need to practice letting go of the
reigns of the relationship and LET HIM do more for
you. You don't need to do anything at all for this
to happen - all you need to do is stop DOING, and
this will create the space for him to move forward
and DO for you.

That's when you'll create fresh opportunities
to acknowledge and APPRECIATE him when he does.
Appreciation is the fuel the feeds a man's passion
for you and makes him not want to leave your side.

For a complete, in-depth look at how to
communicate appreciation to a man and speak with
him in a way that will really make him listen,
check out my Communication Secrets program.

It will teach you how to break through any
distance between you and a man and shift any
negative patters you have in the way you talk and
share with each other.

Learn how to transform the way you communicate
with a man, and in turn how he sees you and opens
up to you right here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/CommunicationSecrets

And if you're in a relationship that has
started to fizzle, find out how to get it right
back on track - and stronger than it was before -
with my Relationship Turnaround program:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

In it, I'll reveal the real reason passion
dies with a man and show you the three key
elements of a great relationship so that he'll
recognize you as the one woman he can't ever let
get away.

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck
in life and love.
,

Your Friend,

Christian Carter


P. S. The way to make a man recognize that you're
the woman he feels like he's destined to be with
is to understand how both ATTRACTION and
COMMITMENT works for a man.

If you don't understand HOW and WHY a man will
decide he wants to love and COMMIT to a woman,
then making your relationship LAST with a man is
going to be all "uphill" - all work.

If you haven't read my eBook, you can read all
the details about it and download your free trial
copy and be reading it in just a few minutes
right here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/eBook