What Makes Men Call Again and Again
If you've been going out with a guy who seemed
really interested at first, and then he suddenly
stopped calling and initiating plans, I have some
good news for you.
Men listen well at the beginning of
relationships and will be very honest about what
they're looking for and where they're at if you
know how to talk to them about it and ask them.
I'm sure you've experienced that when you're
dating a man early on, there's a kind of silent
balancing act that usually takes place. Even if
both you and he are very interested in each other
and feel that intense spark of attraction, if
either one of you get too far ahead, then it's
likely to dampen the attraction.
What I mean is that simply blurting out
something like, "I'm tired of dating, and I'm
only interested in seeing someone if they're
100% ready to get married and have 2.5 children
and live in a house with a white picket fence" is
NOT a great way to begin sharing and learning
about what you both value and are looking for.
Women who get that there's a more subtle
balance between being outspoken about what they
want and allowing the unique connection that you
share to evolve on it's own before you put
boundaries around it are the women who have men
feeding out of the palm of their hands.
I want you to be one of those women. There are
several secrets to communicating with men I've
already shared with thousands of other women that
have literally transformed their lives and their
relationship in a matter of days.
It really is possible to have the kind of
connection with a man where he seems to "get"
what you're saying and where you're coming from
before you even finish what you're saying.
You know that this is possible because you
have this with some of your friends. Well, it is
possible between you and a man.
But only if you're willing to take the time to
look at what's going on at a deeper level when
men and women are communicating, and only if you
are ready to be the one to start the process of
change in the way you and a man talk to each
Are you ready to live the life and the
relationship you know is possible by learning to
master the single most important skill there is
in a loving and lasting relationship?
I've outlined the reasons above why a man
won't call, and I want to expand a bit on that
since I know you want to do everything you can to
have a great relationship with the right man.
Communication is obviously very important in
relationships, and yet there is a largely unsaid
phenomenon that can occur during your early
interactions with a man that can result in him
becoming distant. It's something that can end up
causing you a lot of pain and frustration, and I
want to help you avoid it. It's what I call the
RESIST THE INSTANT RELATIONSHIP
Many women, after knowing a guy for only a
short while, let themselves get wrapped up in
an Instant Relationship. This is when a woman
will already be thinking ahead that she is in a
relationship with a guy, that they will be
spending all their weekends together, and that he
won't be dating any other women.
And this happens when the guy hasn't even
talked about a relationship. Then the woman gets
disappointed when it turns out he isn't exclusive
with her or isn't making plans to see her on
So, instead of putting all your energy into
creating this Instant Relationship, focus instead
on drawing the man you want in and connecting
with him on an emotional level.
This will shift you out of the kind of energy
that will accidentally put distance between you
and a man or make you sound strange once you do
talk (men sense this stuff right away). Here's
how to do it:
STEP 1: Act from your "best self"
Do you ever catch yourself thinking in a way
you can tell is all about some fear or worry you
might have about your relationship? Everyone does.
When this happens, there's usually a kind of
"voice" that pops up in your mind when you're
worried or afraid of something.
When this voice comes up, acknowledge it for
what it is. The voice is an expression of some
of your own fears or worries, but not the best of
you. And the voice might be trying to tell you
something it could be helpful to know, but the
voice is rarely right.
Being aware that the voice is not entirely
"you" and is just that - a voice - makes all the
difference in how you live your life and the
choices you make in your relationship.
Allowing the voice to speak for you and occupy
your thoughts and drive your emotions and
feelings will not help you in love and
relationships. Especially with men.
The voice is not your best or highest "self."
It's a part of you, but not all of you. That's
why allowing the voice to speak for you is
allowing yourself to become an unconscious
passenger in your own life.
Don't make the mistake of allowing the voice
to lead you. What wise women do, and what you can
start to do right now, is to take from the voice
some deeper knowledge of yourself and your
feelings, and then let the voice go.
Observing the voice instead of allowing it to
run the show is what can make all the difference
for you and keep you conscious, more loving and
In fact, being aware of the voice but then
choosing what to do and say from a deeper place
where your heart truly is (your best self) can
and will completely transform your life for the
better. And all it takes is a shift in the way
you listen to the voice.
Step 2) Start living the life that would attract
a great guy
Lots of women have great lives. But as soon
as they meet a guy, they focus too much on giving
to him or trying to please him.
They'll do things like give up friends and
hobbies and weekends for a man - only to realize
that they "lost themselves" in the relationship.
Question: If a man were to simply join you in
the things you were doing in your life... would
he have a great time? Would he see you living a
happy and full life? Would he be excited to be
with you and do some of the things you're doing?
Take a moment now to think about this. And
then write down three things you can start doing
for yourself that will make you more attractive
to the kind of man you want to attract.
Step 3) Leave space for him to come to you
If you think calling, texting, emailing,
checking up on him, and buying him little things
will make him see what a great catch you are, I'm
about to save you a lot of time and energy.
Here's an insight that will turn your love
life around for the better: There's one thing
that all men love and respond to, and it's one of
the most simple but powerful secrets to leaving a
man wanting more. And this one thing is:
Men fall in love not when a woman gives,
gives, gives to them, but through the process of
having a woman they enjoy giving to.
So if you're worried that a man will think
you're not interested in him if you don't do the
things above, here's what you need to know. All
you need to do is show a man appreciation.
Appreciation to men is what affection and
reassurance are to women.
Let's say you've had a great date with a man
and you definitely want him to ask you out again.
All you have to do at the end of the date is
thank him and let him know you had a great time
The trick is to express genuine appreciation
without any "hook" or conditions to it. That is
the magic way that appreciation sinks into a man's
heart and lets him know a woman is special - and
gets him thinking about her again right away.
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck
in life and love.