What To Do So Your Man Has That Burning Desire To Stay Close To You
What To Do So Your Man Has That Burning Desire To Stay Close To You
Here's the thing...
If any part of you is still holding on to the idea that you have bad luck, and that you have been, and are destined to be unlucky, then I have to be honest. All this really isn't for you, and I don't want you to waste your time or energy here. You're not really ready to make a change in your life, because you still don't accept the simple fact that it is YOU and only you who holds the power to change things.
But if you believe that love and really amazing and exceptional relationships, like most other things in life, are created by the luck that happens when the right situation (man) intersects with the right person who's ready... then keep reading.
You're going to get a lot out of this.
How The Commitment Process Works For A Man
For most men, a lasting commitment isn't just a matter of choosing a woman and saying "Yes."
It takes a specific set of ongoing experiences to get a man to keep opening up and to learn to love and share more deeply as time goes on.
See... some women naturally understand what this "thing" is that I'm talking about and never come across some of the other common problems that other women run into again and again with men and relationships.
They have an actual SKILL that they use intuitively, which causes the men they're with to actually CHASE THEM and LEAD THEM into a committed and loving relationship.
Isn't that how it's "supposed" to be anyhow?
But as you may know all too well, it doesn't always work this way for some women. In fact, it only works this way with men if you know how to trigger specific emotions and responses inside a man. And then keep those things going and alive in a long-term relationship.
Understanding Him Is Key
Most women don't like to talk about it, and they certainly don't like to admit it about themselves... but there's a lot of women out there who just don't get how to do these things when it comes to men and relationships.
It's as though every woman is just supposed to know this stuff because she's female.
And while I believe that women have many, many amazing and natural gifts... not every woman in the world is born with the skill of knowing how to inspire a man in a long-term committed relationship.
Not every woman naturally "gets" how to keep things passionate and growing with a man more than a few months or so until the guy predictably pulls away or becomes distant and starts doubting things.
It's at this moment that, for some women, the wheels come off completely... and they have no idea what to do about it to get things back on track.
And this is when women most often feel hurt, unappreciated and start doing and saying things that come from a "lesser" place inside them and ultimately pulls their relationship apart.
These things usually include:
Saying negative and critical things about the flaws they see in the man
Feeling sad and down about themselves
Constant worrying, analyzing and feeling bad which gives them a heavy negative energy around the man
Becoming angry and blaming a man for not loving them or treating them the way they expect
And a whole slew of what I call "Convincing Behaviors" that only push the man farther away and kill the love and attraction he was feeling (more on this later in this email)
So let me ask you a very simple question...
Which situation sounds better to you:
A) Being a woman who "gets" certain things about a man that, in turn, gives you the ability to understand what a man is doing and why... and for you to be the kind of woman in a relationship that will make a man KNOW, with his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, that he wants to be close and connected with you, and only you.
B) Being a woman who just doesn't understand where a man is coming from and why everything has to be so difficult... and sensing that a man isn't "there with you"... and not having a man who "feels it" for you on an intense-passionate-gut-reaction-emotional-gotta-be-with-her-or-else kind of level.
Which Situation Sounds Better To You?
And which has a higher potential for "success" when it comes to a real, loving, and lasting relationship?
Obviously, the first one. But which situation can you honestly identify with more?
Unfortunately, if you're like lots of women I've talked to about men, dating and relationships, then you identify more with the second situation.
Well, guess what? I've got GOOD NEWS for you...
Being The Woman He Yearns To Commit To
There's a simple "skill" you can learn and become great at with men that often means the difference between you experiencing more of the first situation above, instead of the second. Best of all, contrary to popular belief, this skill is NOT something you have to be born with or else.
The truth is, ANY WOMAN can learn these skills who is opening to learning about men.
And any woman can quickly begin improving her dating life, or her relationship with that one special man with this one skill.
And how do I know this?
Because I've helped literally thousands of women do exactly this - transform their love life from a difficult and painful uphill struggle to an often effortless journey filled with more love and fulfillment than they ever had before. Regardless of where they were at to begin with.
So what is this one essential skill among the many relationship skills?
It's the skill of creating ATTRACTION inside a man, and making your man feel that intense emotion of ATTRACTION when he's with you.
All About Attraction
Before you read further, I'd like you to take a minute and think about what the word "attraction" means to you.
By the way, I'm talking about the FEELING of attraction here and what creates or destroys it.
See if you can write down exactly what you think the word "attraction" means. (The process of writing down your thoughts helps you to organize them, and I also recommend that you keep a journal of your experiences as you improve in each area of your life).
There are no right or wrong answers here, so think about it for a few minutes...
And actually write your thoughts down.
OK, did you do that? Good. So what did you come up with?
A lot of women seem to think that attraction is when one person wants what another person has. Some think of attraction as the result of being good-looking or otherwise "attractive". In fact, I think a LOT of people confuse attraction with "being attractive."
When I think of the concept of attraction, I think of it primarily as an EMOTION. In other words, attraction is a feeling that we either feel, or we don't. And there's not much of anything at all in between when it comes to a man being at a place where he's ready to be open, loving and COMMITTED with a woman... long-term.
It seems to me that attraction is actually more of a COMBINATION of powerful experiences and beliefs that come together to form a very, very special and all powerful SUPER-EMOTION.
Attraction: How We Got Here
However you think about it, there is a process that happens between men and women that keeps them connecting - to get together both physically and emotionally in relationships.
In fact, think about this...
You are reading this right now, which is a miracle.
Think of the thousands upon thousands of generations of ancestors that you have had... and think about the fact that EACH ONE WAS ABLE TO FIND A PARTNER TO MATE WITH.
And then think about the fact that you were the sole winner in a race of five hundred MILLION or so sperm trying to get to the egg and burrow inside. You are the result of, and represent, probably the most amazing, delicate and rare process ever.
One of the parts of this process that fascinates me is how each pair of your ancestors decided to get together with THAT PARTICULAR PERSON at THAT PARTICULAR TIME. Your ancestors chose each other over other potential mates or partners for specific reasons, qualities and characteristics. Most of which have been passed to you.
The point here is that there is a LOT to learn from the underlying "biological processes" that have ultimately resulted in you being here right now.
Why Attraction Is So Important
After working, studying and observing things in this area for several years, and listening and working with women, it finally dawned on me that ATTRACTION WAS BASICALLY EVERYTHING.
If a man feels ATTRACTION for a woman, on a deep emotional level BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then nothing else really matters:
Not looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion, etc.
Not peer pressure from friends and family.
Not even where a man is in his own life, which he often uses as an excuse - such as where his career is, his personal income, that he needs his freedom, he's too young, he needs to "have his fun" before he settles down... all that stuff.
None of it matters!
On the other hand, if a man DOESN'T feel ATTRACTION for a woman, then nothing else matters in that case, either!
You can't "talk" a man into feeling ATTRACTION any more than you can "talk" a person who has just eaten a huge meal into feeling hungry.
If you want to learn more about this RIGHT NOW and "fast-forward" your skills and your understanding of men in dating situations and relationships - then go here right now and read all my very best tips and secrets for creating that intense lasting attraction with a man here:
Natural & Lasting Attraction
Unfortunately, some women try all the things they can think of that would work FOR THEM, and try and make a man feel a certain way about them inside.
Remember the "Convincing Behaviors" I mentioned earlier? A few examples:
Calling a man when he's not calling you after a great date and showing your frustration with him (it's an indirect emotional ploy that a man won't positively respond to)
Becoming upset or demanding that a man doesn't want more from your relationship because it's been however many weeks or months
Becoming intimate and sexual with a man early on and telling, rather than asking him, that this "means" that you're exclusive
All of these things are about as likely to work as a creepy guy buying bottled "pheromones" to try and pick up women.
Now, what is it that all of the things above are missing?
I'll tell you:
They don't show any thinking through of how the man is going to feel when a woman does these things.
They not only won't make a man feel attraction... they'll literally kill any kind of attraction a man WAS feeling before.
In short, here's where I'm going with this:
If you don't know how to create attraction with a man, and you keep doing things that are driven simply out of YOUR own feelings, emotions, fears, desires, etc... you're not likely to get very far with a man.
If you can step outside yourself for long enough to understand a few of the things that are going to make him feel great, guess what?
Not only will you ATTRACT a man... you'll also start getting all kinds of amazing things back in return.
More more more!
Let me ask you...
Do you know why men don't ALWAYS go for and marry the "best woman"? ("Best" meaning the woman who's the most generous, loving, patient, thoughtful, educated, successful, etc.)
It's the same reason why women don't go for the "nicest" guy.
The reason men don't go for or stay with the better woman is that men aren't making their choices "logically." They make their choices because of the way they are FEELING.
A woman can be honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful. But a man won't want really want and need her unless she makes him FEEL the magical feelings of ATTRACTION inside.
Think of ATTRACTION like a drug (which it really is). If a man is under the influence of it, then he's gone. He'll do anything to get more.
If he's NOT under the influence, then YOU'RE gone. Nothing you do will matter if he doesn't feel it.
If you doubt what I'm saying, ask the next 10 SUPER-HOT men you see what they think of this. Read this newsletter to them, and watch their reactions. You'll see.
The Real Reason He Didn't Stay With You
OK, now that you've heard a little bit more of my personal perspective, I'd like you to look back into your life and think about all those situations with men that made no sense at all...
Think about the men that you treated wonderfully that passed you up and went on to the "bitchy" woman... and think about all the male "friends" you've had... the ones who told you they wanted a "nice girl"... but kept dating the same kind of neurotic "bad girl" who didn't have her life together AT ALL.
Is it all making sense now?
They didn't keep feeling that INTENSE ATTRACTION for you that they might have had a taste of when you first met.
And as time went on and your relationship started to seem less certain, you were not only doing less of the things that connected you and your man on the physical and emotional attraction level...
You were also actually doing the things that killed these attraction feelings altogether.
The things you were trying to do to keep your relationship together were having the EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT of what you wanted.
It's Harsh To Think About, But It's True.
If you don't do something to learn how to make men feel ATTRACTION, and not just physical attraction which won't last, then most likely, this is going to keep happening for you.
I have to point out one more thing. As I mentioned earlier, I think a lot of women confuse the idea of being "attractive" with the emotion called ATTRACTION.
You can make a man feel an INCREDIBLE ATTRACTION, even though you're not what most people would think of as "attractive". But, of course, you have to know HOW.
The point is, that if you're not perfectly thin, "done-up" and "flawless" (and... who is!?), you can LEARN how to make men feel this wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION.
It's a skill.
It's taken me YEARS to be able to even talk about this stuff in simple terms like this to make sense, and it's taken me the same time to figure out how a REAL woman, without giving herself away and wasting way too much of her time and energy, can make a man who hasn't seemed "ready" or "emotionally available", feel ATTRACTION in a way that will lead to a deep and lasting connection.
How, You Ask, Can This happen?
Well, you've read about avoiding the common and destructive behavior of trying to CONVINCE a man to feel any of these things "logically."
That's a part of it. That's a small part of what NOT to do.
But there are several other pieces of the puzzle, from voice tone and body language, to secrets of powerful and "opening" communication, to specific ways to respond and "challenge" a man to get him physically and emotionally engaged, and everything in between.
It's a system, and it all works together.
There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be successful with men, dating and relationships:
The "Inner Stuff"
The "Outer Stuff"
The "Inner Stuff" is all about learning how to THINK and how to manage your thoughts, intentions, emotions and energy. It's also about understanding how and why attractive men feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some women, and not others.
The "Outer Stuff" is all of the how-to's: what to say, when, how and why.
Which is more important? Well, they're BOTH important.
But what I notice is that most women just want this whole "problem" of finding a great man and arriving in a close, secure, loving, lasting relationship, to go away. They want to "arrive" into an unflinching love where each person truly understands the other on a deep, deep level.
But the strange part is that they want to learn the "Outer Stuff" first because they believe that it's just a matter of saying the right things so that there's love and understanding. In other words, they want the female versions of "pick-up" lines.
Except, the end goal isn't sex - like it often is for men with pick-up lines. It's often wanting more of a deep, loving, lasting commitment built over-night.
Which Leads Us To The "Inner Stuff"...
The REASON that the "Inner Stuff" is so important, is that attractive men don't judge you on what you can say about true love and how much you really want it in your life.
And just because a man talks to you, gets your phone number or email address, or takes you out on a date DOES NOT mean that he FEELS anything deep inside. And even if you're in a relationship with a man, it doesn't mean he's feeling that "forever" feeling.
And here's where I draw an IMPORTANT distinction for you.
There are 2 types of ATTRACTION a man can feel. And for a man to become "serious" about a woman, he has to feel BOTH.
Men don't decide to feel attraction for a woman. Attraction is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons.
Sure, it's relatively easy for a man to feel "physical attraction." But having a man feel what I call "EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION" is a whole different story.
Earlier I mentioned that there's a reason why a man will commit himself emotionally to one woman, and not another...
This "other" kind of attraction is a BIG part of what's going on here.
Learn How To Create Attraction In Him And Keep It Alive
The way to cause a man to feel attraction for you is to understand how and why it works, and then communicate in a way that actually triggers the feeling of attraction inside of a man on a deep emotional level.
This stuff is CRITICAL to the quality of your future love life and relationships. I wouldn't have taken all the time, effort, and energy to put this together unless I thought it was important.
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
P.S.In this email I mentioned a few things about the "inner stuff" you might be going through personally.
If you've noticed that you have more going on inside than just the average ups and downs...
And if you realize that some of the bad experiences and relationships from your past are holding you back or causing you to act up in negative or COUNTERPRODUCTIVE WAYS in your love life...
Then I would strongly encourage you to make a big step in your life by taking your attention off of men for a second, and put your attention on yourself.
Getting back to that more soft, feminine, and loving place inside you is one of the best ways to "reset" things in your love life and to create a new path for yourself and a new you for the right man to be drawn to.
You might be tired of feeling like you have to fight and struggle to be strong and to stick up for yourself when it comes to love. Feeling this way is a good sign that you could be accidentally pushing away the kind of true love you really want with a man.